I miss the high school days and its music. Music used to have a big impact on me, I would play some Buckethead and within seconds disconnect completely from this world. The music draws a world for me to discover, like someone describing a view. It used to impact me more than words. The more intense was the music the more intense was the trip. Back then I didn’t see music as this sound played by people using instruments, this one is guitar, this one is drum… It was simply a story, with a beginning and an end, trying to tell something, with a certain energy, with calculated timing and intensity.

But it lost its effect with time. The need to analyze rather than simply enjoy, especially is you studied music. You start thinking in terms chords, a capellas, instruments, stops… The music loses its meaning, at least on an emotional level. It becomes predictable, boring.

It also loses its meaning when you stop looking within and trusting yourself. As we grow up we learn that answers are outside. Health belongs to doctors. Meaning belongs to philosophers. Love belongs to artists. We learn to not trust our opinions because there are people who clearly know better than us. Whenever we ask ourselves questions we look for experts rather than looking for the answers within. But I learned that finding true meaning doesn’t come from outside but from inside, no matter how logical or trustworthy someone sounds you’ll never be completely at ease with their ideas until you internalize them and truly become part of you and see them your own way. No one can describe music to you if you don’t go through the experience yourself.

I think people who can’t feel music are afraid of just being themselves.